135: The 50/50
I learned a life coaching concept called the 50/50 which essentially reminds us that our human experience will be full of both positive and negative emotion. It’s the way we show up in the “Hard 50” that determines so much about how we experience life and whether or not we achieve our goals. How do we handle ourselves when we’re stressed, sad, anxious, bored, disappointed, scared, inconvenienced and uncomfortable?
Do we eat our way through it? Drink our way through it? Lash out at people through it? Get in bed and cover our heads through it? Shop our way through it?
We tend to resist negative emotion by buffering with things like food, alcohol and Amazon purchases. But this derails our goals and keeps us from showing up in the way that aligns with who we want to be and who God made us to be.
This week’s podcast offers a healthy dose of Scripture and life coaching concepts to help manage your mind in a way that supports the goals you want to achieve and the person you want to be.
EPISODE 135: The 50/50
Show Notes
(0:00) Intro
Hello my friend! Welcome back to the club, how are you today?
It is Self Coaching Christians month in The Christian Health Club when we focus on mind management. Every October I put members through a month-long program of daily mind work over one specific health goal.
The difference between the people who get results and don’t get results is mindset or mind management as I like to refer to it.
Your life is a reflection of what’s going on in your mind.
The more you manage your mind, the better results you are going to get in your health and in every area of your life.
In The CHC we use scripture and we use a tool called The Model that I learned from Life Coach Brooke Castillo at the Life Coach School.
I took what I learned from there and integrated scripture with these life coaching concepts and created this month-long program called Self-Coaching Christians where we learn to coach ourselves through issues that are holding us back from our health and life goals.
Sunday Sendout email list
YouTube video: Introduction to the Model
(4:54) The 50/50:
The basic concept is that life is not rainbows and butterflies 100% of the time. Part of life is positive and part of life is negative. We are all going to experience pain, suffering, hurt, loss, sadness, failure, discomfort - it’s part of the human experience.
Now, on a daily basis that might shake out to 70% of your day going great and 30% of it not, or 20% of your day going great and 80% of it not - but let’s say that, on average, life is about 50/50.
It is how we show up in the Hard 50 that determines so much about how we experience life.
What tends to happen in the 50/50 is overeating and overdrinking.
The emotional eating and drinking takes a toll and we don’t fully show up as our best selves in the other 50.
Ultimately our actions in The Hard 50 are adding insult to injury. And we know that the actions we take start from our thoughts. And thus we must get a grip on this by managing our minds.
(10:47) We learn from an early age that negative emotion can be fixed by something external.
The thing is we are taught to avoid pain but not really how to manage it. Think of when you were little and you fell down or something made you sad and your parents said something like - you’re ok! Don’t cry, it’s ok. How about a cookie? That’ll make you feel better.
Story of how I recently fell into a similar trap and did a lot of self-coaching on the situation with my son and examining my thoughts around it.
Had I not taken the time to acknowledge and confront all the thoughts that were going through my brain - like that one - they would have continued to fester and lead me to handle things in a much poorer way than I want to.
One thought I chose is - this is an opportunity to be a good mom - that instead of feeling like a bad mom, I could step up to this situation and really help my son.
(16:44) We see in Romans that Paul:
We also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. Romans 5:3-5
We’ve got some serious character building going on over here, both for my son and for us as parents. I felt so much better and strengthened after praying because what I felt God saying is that you’re not raising him for you, you’re raising him for me. So basically, get over yourself. A little straight talk to my soul from the Lord
(18:09) Hiking in Taos:
This idea of suffering producing character and facing discomfort head on and on purpose came up in another way for me recently. My husband and I went to Taos for our anniversary a few weekends ago - we love to go hiking when we’re there.
I’ve had a goal of hiking to Wheeler Peak - the highest peak in New Mexico - for several years now. I told my husband maybe we could try. I didn’t fully commit to it but I started preparing anyway.
As the trip drew closer, I started doubting. I started talking myself out of it, thinking of all of the obstacles I’d have to face. My feet had been hurting just walking around town in my hiking shoes, my bunions were barking for sure and I was thinking - how could I possibly hike for hours straight up a mountain if my feet hurt one hour after my daily walk?
On the 10-hour drive to Taos, my husband and I listened to a book on Audible that totally changed my perspective. It’s called Fortitude by Dan Crenshaw who is a U.S. Congressman and former Navy Seal who lost his eye in Afghanistan. e has a whole chapter in the book called Do Something Hard. He says:
In adversity, difficulty and meaningful suffering there is transformation.
For Christians, our faith was founded on the ultimate act of suffering by Jesus Christ. The ultimate act of love and mercy. Without suffering there can be no redemption, no mercy. Romans 5:3
In the raw human sense, without suffering there can be no resilience to adversity.
Y’all, it was like he was talking directly to me through the speakers of my car. My husband and I looked at each other and were like - alright, we’re going up the mountain.
I knew I could do it physically. It was getting over the mental hump of subjecting myself to pain and suffering. But I did it. And it was awesome and horrible all at the same time.
I left a lot of weakness up there on that mountain - in so many ways.
If we purposefully seek out our own Hard 50 on our own terms, then we will better be able to handle the involuntary Hard 50 of the human experience. We build mental resilience and can face emotions head on instead of hiding our face in a bag of chips or overdrinking night after night to numb the pain.
(28:28) The birth of The CHC:
The CHC came to be because it was driven into creation by the momentum and desire of Christian women who want to constantly challenge and improve themselves.
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James 1:2-4
A life without discomfort is not a thing. Discomfort presents the opportunity for growth.
St. Paul said:
I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.
That’s the 50/50 right there - but God has put into our human spirit the ability to overcome - He gives us the strength when we don’t have it.
We have His power and we have the power to choose how we’re going to handle ourselves, how are we going to show up in that Hard 50.
Are we going to eat our way through it? Drink our way through it? Lash out at people through it. Get in bed and cover our head with the covers through it? Shop our way through it?
Are we going to stay at the bottom of the mountain or are we going up?
(33:26) One last experience of discomfort to share:
Actually it’s not one experience, it’s ongoing discomfort that I feel as I try to live out this calling I feel God has put on life. It is uncomfortable every single day and has been since the day I felt the stirring in my soul to be The Christian Nutritionist.
I am still uncomfortable when I hit record on a podcast or do a live video on social media. You rarely see me do a live video on social media because I am so uncomfortable. I finally hired a CFO to look at my financial numbers because I don’t do numbers and that irresponsibly includes my business finances. I have technical difficulty with one program or another every single day. Last week on top of everything being stressful with my son, we were having so many technical difficulties with things. Some days it makes me want to give up. IF I didn’t have faith that what God has called me to He will see me through, IF I didn’t have His strength filling in the gap in my weakness I would not be here. We have been working on a MAJOR shift behind the scenes and I’m about to move all my people - Feast 2 Fasters and Christian Health Club members off of Facebook. I’m calling it The Exodus.
You can’t grow without discomfort and, my friends, I have grown a heck of a lot just in the last few weeks. My goodness. From the top of the mountain to the tears in my wine. It’s all a part of the 50/50.
I hope today’s episode has given you a lot to think about and that it encourages you to manage your mind and know that you have so much power to choose how you experience this gift of life and all that comes with it.
Feast 2 Fast registration is opening soon and I am so proud to say - it will not be on FB. Come join us for the holiday round and hold yourself to a higher standard of stewarding your Holy temple.
(38:40) Outro & Disclaimer
Thanks for listening! Have a healthy and blessed week!