How To Be A Self-Coaching Christian
Introduction to The Model
The following is excerpted from Self-Coaching Christians - a month-long course I created for The Christian Health Club as part of the integrative Spirit, Mind, Body approach we take to health. We cover body image, emotional eating/overeating, achieving top health goals and overcoming excuses. With the foundation of God’s Word and the practical application of The Model, we can get better and faster results in your health and weight goals.
The following will teach you the basic knowledge of how to coach yourself using The Model - a simple tool I learned from life coach Brooke Castillo at The Life Coach School. I’ve taken this technique and grounded it in scripture to keep the Lord first in all that we do.
For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.
Proverbs 23:7
The Bible tells us that the way we think is the way that we will be. That means, who you are right now - the way you are showing up in life and the way it is showing up for you - is the RESULT of the way you THINK.
I’ve had many clients who know exactly what to do and how to eat for better health…and, yet, they don’t. They continue to overeat, to binge, to yo-yo diet, to make choices that sabotage their goals. They think it’s an action problem, but it’s actually a thought problem. All physical actions we take - or don’t take - start in the mind.
“More than anything you guard, protect your mind, for life flows from it. ”
It is why, as Christians, we are called to guard, protect and renew our minds. In order to be everything God created us to be, we must keep our minds aligned with His will and who we are in Him. The enemy loves to set up shop in our brains and whisper lies that hold us back from the abundant life Jesus came to give us on Earth and in Heaven.
Because God created us to have free will, it is up to us to decide what kind of thoughts we’re going to allow to direct our lives. It is 100% our responsibility and privilege to manage our minds.
A Self-Coaching Christian is a Believer who takes responsibility for the way that she thinks and chooses God’s Word to shape her mind and direct her life. A Self-Coaching Christian renews her mind daily against the lies of the enemy. A Self-Coaching Christian sows Kingdom thoughts and produces Kingdom results.
The results you get in your health, relationships, finances, career - all areas of your life - originate with a thought.
This is how it works:
1. Thoughts produce Feelings.
Whether you feel excited, disappointed, motivated, fearful, happy, stressed, bored, confident, empty or fulfilled...it’s a thought that got you there. The first step is to make this connection and identify the thought that is making you feel a certain way.
Thoughts → Feelings
Example:
Circumstance: The scale says 200 lbs
Thought: This diet isn’t working.
Feeling: Hopeless
2. Feelings produce Actions.
You act from the way that you feel. Every action you take, or don’t take, stems from a feeling. Identifying this connection is the secret to uncovering why you behave the way you do.
Thoughts → Feelings → Action
Circumstance: The scale says 200 lbs
Thought: This diet isn’t working.
Feeling: Hopeless
Action: Eat the whole bag of chips
(the thought that the diet isn’t working and feeling hopeless about it leads you to a “why-not-eat-the-whole-bag-it’s-not-working-anyway" action)
3. Actions produce Results.
The actions you take based on your thoughts and feelings will ultimately produce your results. You are a result of the way that you think.
Thought → Feeling → Action → Result
Circumstance: The scale says 200 lbs.
Thought: This diet isn’t even working.
Feeling: Hopeless
Action: Eat the whole bag of chips.
Result: More yo-yo dieting and don’t lose weight..
See how that works? If you’re new to this you may be skeptical. That’s ok, I was too when I first learned this concept. But then - as usual - God gave me His spin on it which made it make so much more sense.
Not only does the Bible warn us to manage our minds, it instructs us to sow seed and bear fruit. These concepts are all related. Essentially our thoughts are like seeds and our results the fruit. What you plant is what you grow. What you think grows the results you get. As Christians we are called to bear fruit: to produce results that reflect love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. This can only be done by planting God’s Word and allowing it to ripen into our greatest potential.
We know well enough that if we plant apple seeds we can’t expect to grow oranges. And, yet, we have thoughts that are contrary to the results we want to have. That’s never going to work. If you don’t like your fruit (results) you’ve got to change the root (thoughts).
And the Word was made flesh, and dwelt among us. John 1:14
“The Model” is a tool I learned from life coach Brooke Castillo at The Life Coach School. It is the simple formula of CTFAR which shows how our thoughts lead to our results. Thoughts are words in our brain that make us who we are in the physical - in the flesh. This concept made me think of John 1:14. God sent His son, our Redeemer and Savior, to walk among us. His Word became flesh. Jesus is our model for making word become flesh, seed become fruit, thought become result. He is the ultimate example we are to follow in this earthly life. He IS The Model. Applying this tool can help us identify when our thoughts do not align with who we are in Christ and how we can “take captive” the thoughts that do not serve us and do not produce the Kingdom fruits we are called to bear.
C T F A R stands for Circumstance, Thought, Feeling, Action, Result.
C: The circumstance is a fact. It is completely neutral. There are no descriptive or adjective words here - it is not positive or negative, it is just neutral.
T: The thought is one sentence you’re thinking about the circumstance. (it cannot be a question, only a statement)
F: Feeling is one word to describe your emotion.
A: Action is what you do or don’t do when you feel that way.
R: Result is what happens when you take that action.
Here are a few more examples that reveal how thoughts and feelings can lead to overeating:
C: Paying bills
T: We’re gonna run out of money
F: Stress
A: Stop paying bills and go to the kitchen and eat 5 cookies
R: Can’t lose weight due to stress eating
C: Leftover food on kids’ plates
T: I hate wasting food
F: Guilty
A: Pick the food off the plate and eat it
R: Overeating - feel gross and overly full
C: Helping son with math homework
T: I hate math!
F: Frustrated
A: Go to the fridge and get out the bottle of Chardonnay
R: Overdrinking - goal is to not drink during the week.
I may or may not be drawing on personal experience here. LOL!
In many cases when it comes to health and weight issues, we use food and drink to avoid or “buffer” feeling the stress, guilt, frustration, boredom, depression, etc of the situation. This is how overeating, binging, and yo-yo dieting happens. The only way to stop it is first to recognize the pattern. We can be oblivious to this cascade of reactions and wonder how in the world we ended up with an empty pint of ice cream in our hand. Once we get a grip on what’s happening, it’s time to break in with new thoughts, new feelings and new actions. Is it easy? No. Thoughts, habits and patterns are deeply ingrained into our brains. There’s a lot of pruning and replanting that has to take place. But it’s totally doable. You just have to take the time to do it.
Once you “take captive” the thought that is not serving you, it’s time to plant something different. You can do a model based on the way you WANT to think, to feel, to act and achieve. The thing about thoughts is that we get to choose them. The more you reseed your mind, the better results you will get.
C: Paying bills
T: Thank you God that we have enough to pay these bills.
F: Content
A: Pay bills without kitchen distraction
R: Don’t gain weight due to stress eating
C: Leftover food on kids’ plates
T: Eating extra food only makes me feel bad.
F: In control
A: Save scraps for dog or chickens or throw food away
R: Do not overstuff myself
C: Helping son with math homework
T: We can get through this.
F: Determined
A: Power through homework like a math beast
R: Don’t drink wine off plan
Seeing how you currently experience a situation versus how you WANT to experience a situation is so helpful. Does it mean you magically switch into a new gear? No. But you can clearly see what you’re going to have to do to achieve the results and goals that you want for yourself.
Do a Daily Model Challenge for 30 days and watch how your actions change to produce the results you want in your life.
I would LOVE to hear what you discover about yourself!
“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. ”
XOXO,
Chelsea
*The Model is used with permission by creator Brooke Castillo at The Life Coach School.